The proper way to put on a condom is with two hands and one look of utter disgust.
Wish Heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice again. I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday, and day before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake, from which I’ll never part. God has you in HIS arms, I have you in my heart.
You can love a lot of people in this world, but there’s only that you will love the most.
My house doesn’t smell like fish.
the word illest is not in my vocabulary
my parents didn’t come up with my name by throwing pots and pans together.
I got a 3.9 last quarter.
my dog is still alive
I can’t be blindfolded by dental floss.
my penis is huge
I have a B in math
i dont know how to cook rice
i would literally die.
I already am dying just looking at this. D: